We are raising a fund of £100 million to invest in lunatics
We have sat on the side lines and watched many people who have never created a company ( or several companies ) or invested successfully in companies raise funds so we now thought it is our turn. So here goes:)
Our fund will be called Potential – The Pirate Fund – the reason for the name is that WE aimed to make a lot of money and have fun.
– We will ONLY invest in the lunatic idea’s
– We will ONLY invest in mad founders
– We ONLY invest when everyone hates you and your idea
– We will not accept business plans as they mostly are shit and we have better things to do without our lives than read your crap.
– We will only care about one thing and that is a graph that is exploding with growth
– We will not care how you made the growth happen, you could bribe people, you can hack systems, you can even have a really good product. We don’t care how you do it.
– We will offer no help whatsover in the business – it is your company, we are not experts in what ever crap you are doing. If you can make the graph explode with growth who are we to tell you what to do.
– We will intro you to NO ONE – if you want to make this thing work you better be able to hussle baby and find the people to help you.
– We will not buy beer/lunch dinner etc. We’d love to go out with you as you are mad and fun but pay your own way.
– We will expect a 100X return on our money
– At first meeting YOU MUST wear a pink bandana or don’t bother coming
So if you wish to invest in our fund send used notes to me and I will happily spend it:)
THIS IS A SPOOF:):) But if you wish to give me a £100 million I will help invest it
Many thanks to the genius that is Alex Dunsdon for this.
Doug
In the real world we have create numerous companies that turnover 7 figures plus pa…we never took any funding. We have also already invested in many many lunatics that are doing unbelievable things. Check them out on my angellist Syndicate below:
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Ps. Some of the above maybe untrue:):) Arrrrh